This site is for information and entertainment only with the purpose of gaining insight on personal relationships with both God and others. If you end up getting married after using the content on this website, as well as the links to other content on this website. It is just purely coincidental. This website is not affiliated with Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints.
The question of “what’s your love language” is a very
important. Love language is an
interesting but beneficial in relationships.
We have all heard that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Truth of the matter is, we all think
differently and often times we assume what the other person wants or
needs without really knowing. In reality, what we may think our
partner desires may be what you need but not what they need.. For example, you may like it when your
partner does nice things for you and then you assume that is what they want, often
times that is not the case. How do we
know what the other person likes? Lucky
for us we have an amazing tool created by Gary Chapman, the book is entitled, “The Five Love Languages” There are five
love languages which are touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts,
and quality time. The first thing you
need to do is discover your own love language by answering a few questions. The easiest way to know your partners love
language is to have them answer the same questions. However if your partner hasn't taken the 5
love language quiz, listen to them and discover their actions toward you. Perhaps the actions your significant other
displays towards you is that persons love language.
I highly recommend that you know each other’s love language,
it will create a very strong and loving relationship.
Don't Know Your Partners Love Language?
If you are not sure of the other persons love language, you
may want to experiment, you never know, you may eventually get it right!
I took the test and My main love language is touch and my second is a tie between words of affirmation and quality time. Happy discovery of your love language.
Mormon insiders are buzzing about chatter that the LDS Church may eliminate the one-year waiting period between a civil marriage ceremony and a temple wedding for members in the U.S. and Canada.
Right now, Mormon couples in many European and South American countries can have a civil ceremony and then, as soon as they want, go to an LDS temple to be united, or "sealed," in an eternal marriage. More Here at SL Tribune...
On this day of hearts, cupid, candy, flowers and spending time with a significant other, who have you chosen to spend your evening with?
Many of you either went out with your significant other, some may have spent their time on the phone with a long distance friend, others with close friends. In my case, I spent my evening with my son. He is away at college two hours away. The best part of the night is it was spontaneous and we had a great time. We went to dinner and talked and laughed for a few hours. I asked him it would be creepy to have dinner with his mom on valentines day, he said, "No Way!" Wow, I have an amazing son!
Perhaps next year my son will spend Valentines with a sweetheart, which I hope that is the case, but for now, it was a very tender moment to spend time with my son.
Wherever you are, whoever you are, take advantage of spending time with your loved ones even if you don't have a significant other in your life. Many people choose to feel sorry for themselves on Valentines Day because they are not in a relationship. Quit feeling sorry for yourself, you only have one life so go live it!
Reading my co-bloggers post entitled “Keeping Yourself Pure
During and After Divorce”, has ignited a desire within me to share the repentance process.When sharing my own experience with my best friend, his response was, “Go Fix IT!”
When fixing something we often think of
fixing our car or leaky faucet, in this case, it is fixing ourselves and changing through the power of the atonement.
When one experienced divorce, suffers pain within their heart and soul The feelings of failure and disappointment
overwhelm you, wondering what you could or should have done differently.In those moments of despair we must always
place our trust in the Lord that he will take care of us.Often times we find ourselves lonely and
wondering why we have been forsaken and “ I just need to be loved.”This is when Satan enters our hearts and
tells us it’s ok to experience sexual experiences outside of marriage.It doesn’t occur suddenly, it is little by
little until you think you’re already there so who cares, I’m tired of trying
to be good.The rationalization that it’s
ok and lying to yourself is not only hurting you and creating scars within, you
are hurting the one who loves you the most, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Once you have entered the path of sin, it is easy to
continue when you continue to lie to yourself.However, after a while the depression and despair creep in and
eventually the pain and anguish of the sins you have committed become real.
Finding The Way Back
A talk entitled “Finding The Way Back” given by Elder Richard
G Scott, in the April 1990 General Conference has helped me to know and understand the road back.I encourage you to read it.I
have chosen to share a portion of his talk here on the blog.
I speak to you who find yourselves caught in a pattern of
life that you neither enjoy nor want. You may publicly profess that all is well
and reject the efforts of others to help you with a comment that you know what
you are doing and can handle it yourself. Yet, in quiet moments, you know you
are miserable, lonely, and sometimes afraid. You avoid thinking too much about
what you are doing. The walls seem to close in around you. You are driven by
appetites that bring momentary physical response but are followed by periods of
deep depression. Let me help you as we reason together.
Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it
seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not
true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the
challenges you face. (See 2 Ne. 2:6–8.)
When you are honest with yourself, you may feel afraid. To
change will require you to take an unfamiliar path, and it is uphill and
narrow. The other is so inviting, but it leads to heartache. None of your
partners in error will help you onto the upward path. They think only of
themselves. (See D&C 10:25.) You know the result of following their
path—unhappiness, failure, disappointment, and greater fear. They don’t love
you. They want to use you. Don’t listen to them.
When you take the path that climbs, that harder path of the
Savior, there are rewards along the way. When you do something right, when you
resist temptation, when you meet a goal, you will feel very good about it. It
is a very different kind of feeling than you have when you violate
commandments—an altogether different feeling. It brings a measure of peace and
comfort and provides encouragement to press on.
As you pray for help, the Lord will place in your path
priesthood leaders who will counsel and friends who will give support if you’ll
let them. But remember, they can only help by your following the rules that
Christ has set out for the journey. Any lasting improvement must come from your
own determination to change. (See Mosiah 3:17–20.)
Freedom from your transgression will come through sincere
faith, true repentance, willing obedience, and the giving of self. (See Alma
26:22.)
His Grace is Sufficient
One of the best talks I have ever heard that defines Grace is given by Brad Wilcox. This talk was shared with me by my best friend prior to my sharing of my agony I was experienced. I experienced so much peace after listening to this talk. I share that with you here.
My final words on this post are this…GO FIX IT! Find peace now, even
though the road is hard and you feel you have gone to far into your sins or
think the process through repentance may seem more than you can do, Imagine
yourself in the happiest state you can possibly be in and always focused on our
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.Picture yourself as Peter when he got out of the boat and into the fierce waters focused
on Christ.As soon as he took his eyes
off of the Savior, he experienced fear and doubt.Never turn away from Christ, always rely on
him and never doubt or fear again.And
when you are doing all you can do and feel you can’t do anymore, remember He
knows you and will never leave you.
Working and talking with multiple Bishops over the years with my own journey through divorce and dating, I have arrived to some of my own conclusions and concerns of what middle age divorce and dating looks like. A huge concern that a Bishop deals with quite regularly is sexual purity or simply sex out of wedlock and breaking covenants. This is something that a Bishop deals with in the youth and the older folks. It is most likely one of their least favorite problems to deal with. When a Bishop becomes aware of people in his charge that are dating and becoming serious, he takes notice real quick and look for ways to communicate his concerns about staying pure. There seems to be a consensus that it is better to simply move along a relationship to marriage as soon as possible. Some encourage it civilly if the couple are waiting for temple clearance or cancelation rather than wait to marry in the Temple to stem the possibility of the pain and turmoil of coming to the Bishop and going thru a lengthy repentance process.
While this is probably good or bad and I might even disagree with speedy unions, this is not what I wish to address. Instead an even larger concern that Bishops should address is an area that seems to be severely overlooked, and that is those that are in separation or newly divorced. Having lived in the world, perhaps a little more than others in a military career, I’ve seen the effects of rampant divorce. I have seen what leads up to it and right after. All people regardless whether they are in this church or not, seem to lose their way and a moral sense of who they are for a period of time during this trying transition. It is at this time, that people are highly susceptible to sexual relationships and doing things they normally would not do. It’s a time when some think nothing matters, or maybe God really doesn’t care, or why did this happen to me and many other doubts and questions run through your mind, and it is easy to compromise ones integrity. Making poor decisions in despair, to get a fleeting moment of some self-worth or someone that cares for you more than your previous Companion should never be a thought or option.. It may become easy to seek mindless perhaps even emotionless sex to feel briefly good and appreciated by another. But do not do this, the despair and depression you feel will only be made worse and may even lead you down a path that you find it harder to return to who you were before and your love for the Gospel
This is a dangerous time for all that Embarq on separation and divorce. It’s a time to bring oneself closer to God in all respects including prayer and scripture reading. We live in a life of free agency not just by our own decisions but the decisions of all those around us. Life is in constant flux of millions of decisions all around us. Because of this great gift of Free Agency that Heavenly Father has given us, it is not his fault that bad things happen, and adversity is part of the plan and is result of our actions and those around us. Do not blame God or distance yourself. When adversity happens it’s time to draw closer to him and the powers of Heaven. This will protect you during your divorce transition.
It is in my humble Opinion, that Bishops and church leaders and Home teachers should pay special attention to those who are in this time of need. Why not reach out on a bi-weekly basis to check on these brothers and sisters now to make sure they are ok and staying close to their Heavenly Father than meeting with them on the back end as a Bishop in a state of repentance on broken covenants which only adds more turmoil to an already damaged soul.
Keeping yourself clean and pure during this time will help you in the end, even when it seems all is lost. Breaking commandments and covenants only adds to the pain you are experiencing. Besides your covenants with the Lord, worldly laws can be broken if you commit such acts during separation. Many states have Adultery laws which can be used against you and your divorce case which can severely impair the outcome of the final divorce including important decisions such as Finance and Child custody.
Be careful Brothers and Sisters and hopefully a few Bishops might read this and gain some wisdom in dealing with those involved with separation and divorce.
My
contemplation of this topic has brought memories of painful events that I experienced and
would love to share of what not to do.
I have made mistakes in the past courtships, however after stepping back
and understanding what was missing I started listening to conference talks on this subject and reading
and studying whatever I can get my hands on to learn and to grow from my experiences. I have discovered some very important direction we are given by
Apostles or in handbooks put out by the LDS Church.
When you meet on the internet or other means of
dating and tend to let your emotions control your actions. These couples have a whirlwind romance and race
into matrimony without really getting to know each other. I have seen couples get married in a week or a month. Why do they rush into marriage? Are they encouraged to get married or are they letting emotions take over? Many difficulties arise once the honeymoon phase is over because there isn't a proper foundation built during the courtship. Several of these unions sadly end in divorce.
There
is direction and counsel regarding courtship that I choose to share. The first comes from a general conference
address from Dallin H Oaks April 2007 entitled Divorce
Section IV
of his talk addresses Couples
contemplating marriage.
The
LDS Church has a handbook entitled “A Parent’s Guide” Although this is
addressing young adults courting, it is great advice and direction for our age
group for proper courtship and marriage.
In proper
courtship the partners must recognize that their first responsibilities are to
encourage each other in righteous behavior and to sustain and support each
other in righteous desires and ambitions. The young man will do anything to
protect the young lady’s purity. Each partner will unselfishly seek the best
for the other while they learn to know each other well. The unmarried couple
can talk together without being required to agree, inviting free discussion from
both sides. Each partner is free to express his or her full personality and to
discover the personality of the other.
After
researching online about the topic of finding love on the internet I stumbled
across the following article from the New York Times. I believe this article is very important for
those who are meeting people online.
EVERYONE
has heard those amazing stories of online love -- the intimate correspondence,
the heart-pounding first meeting, the walk down the aisle -- all supporting the
notion that it can happen.
Just
don't expect it to.
My hope in sharing this information will help many couples who are courting and think they can just jump into a marriage without taking proper steps to having a solid foundation to build on. Often times in our age group couples think because they are older and have more experience than the young couples who have never been married, don't want to waste time and get married. From my painful experiences I would recommend to take time out and pull yourselves from the honeymoon stage and experience each other in as many different situations, understand each other and know your partners love language. ( I will blog on this subject in the near future) Please meet each others family you never know how that will affect you. If either one is divorced, make sure there is a healthy relationship between the ex-spouses. They don't have to be best friends, but at least be able to speak to one another and be in the same room together. I promise this makes a big difference otherwise you find yourself in extreme drama which can break down a marriage. Make sure each person is mentally stable and ready for a life long and an eternal marriage. This is extremely important, remember you can't fix anyone but yourself.
We all remember that famous line in Star Wars between Han Solo and Princess Leia with thier constant banter of a love hate relationship thru out the Trilogy.. But now researchers are persuing the possiblity of Human robot relationships.. So if you are ready to give up on the possibility of a human companion, maye be a Robot one might be yours in the future.. Not sure you can do any Temple ordinances with said robot but here it is...
As you enter
the online dating world or if you have already embarked into the online dating you
may want to take a few moments to understand the dos and don’ts of the content
and how you display and portray yourself.
There are a
few things I would like to address in this category.
If you are
going to be on a dating website, don’t be there to be a stalker.You know who you are..the one who creates a
profile with no photo and the content says, “Send me a message and ask” Really?It is rather creepy to know you are out there
and all you want to do is look at the profiles and nothing else.I thought you were on a dating site.
You have all
seen the profiles where the individual says, “I want” and then proceeds to list
the qualities of the person they are looking for.You may as well be at McDonalds ordering a
Big Mac.Seriously, do you really want
to shop for a date?Utilize words like, “The
perfect mate for me is...” and then list the qualities.When you personalize rather than shop, it
shows what your desire is.
Remember to
keep your profiles short and to the point. Be creative, this is where you reveal your personality.
If you proceed to list your whole life history and everything about you,
why bother going on a date, you have already given your potential date all the
information she or he needs and most likely will not even read the whole
profile because…yawn!!!
Whatever you
do, never never mention your ex-spouse!!!!!!If this is the case, get off the dating sites and go see a therapist to
release the hurt and anger.Once you are
emotionally ready, then proceed to the online dating world.
If you don’t
have time to date, why do you even have a profile, you know what I mean.An example of this is:“I have 4 kids, work full time, go to school full
time, have 4 dogs, 2 cats, young women’s or young men’s president and my free
time is working out at the gym.”This
kind of profile tells the person reading it that you are not available, not
that you have a significant other but that time wise you don’t have time to
date.Get off the site, clear up your
schedule, and when you have opened up your schedule, you will have the time and
are ready to set up a new profile.
Photos are
very important.First of all, don’t use
a professional photo, these show nothing about you except you can get all
dressed up, have a professional photo that is airbrushed and doesn’t show what
you really look like.Make sure the
photo is current, not from ten years ago.Be brave and post a current photo of you that is taken by a friend or
family member, not a professional.I
realize I am going against the E-Harmony advice, but you really want to present
truthfully who you are.I find it rather
amusing when a photo is posted where you can clearly tell the body type doesn’t
match the description in the body of the profile.Be honest because if you are serious about
meeting someone, you want to be who you say you are.And what is it with the profile photos with
sunglasses?What are you trying to
hide?
Don’t brag
about your work or how much money you make.Are you wanting attract the gold diggers?If that is your goal then go ahead, brag all
you want.
According to
E-Harmony advice there are five things of what not to say.
1.Never misspell a word or use incorrect
punctuation.
2.Don’t list every little detail about you, keep
it simple and to the point.
3.Never say what you hate, stay positive.
4.Don’t say too much about work and family.
5.Never say something so vague it might as well be
nothing
Now that you
have been schooled in the online dating profile, hopefully you will take the
suggestions and create the ultimate profile which will hopefully have success
in online dating.Good luck and have
fun!
I really don’t have anytime to date because I workout constantly thru
out the day. Weight lifting starts at 3am, then I run 18 miles every
day and unicycle at least 5 miles while throwing Frisbees with my
loyal and cute 3 dogs and a cat. The cat is the best Frisbee catcher..
My morning exercise regiment ends about 2pm and I get to work at
2:30pm. I only worked until 4:30 because my company is so impressed
with my fitness regiment (Because I just have to look good) they pay
me for 8 hours work when I only do 2. But it really doesn’t stop there
because I have a stand up desk in which I power walk on a treadmill
while working and talking to clients. How cool is that!!!
At 5pm I am back at the Gym teaching my Aerobics class followed then
by my Martial art's regiment at night. I study 15 different self
defense and fighting styles simultaneously.. I usually get home at
Midnight and fast forward thru all my favorite DVR’d TV shows in 2
hours cuz Im cool like that. (Love that Dancing with the Stars!)
At 2am I take all my Vitamins with bottled water (In which I recycle
the plastic) and finally go to bed just to start it all over again at
3am.
Since I have a strict vegan diet and don’t have much time for
shopping, I have a mobile self contained eco system with fish and a
hydroponic garden on a trailer. I always have fresh vegetables and
fruits everywhere I go. My car is a (Go Green) Toyota Prius’ with My
World Peace and Yes We Can Obama sticker proudly displayed. The huge car
batteries that I go thru every other year for maintenance concerns me
with polluting the environment, but I found Joe the mechanic who
charges me a great price..Just $4000.00 which is a steal to change
them out. Plus he says he proudly recycles the batteries and he is
very nice. I saw the sticker on his door so I trust him… He does
need to lose some weight and work out.. I worry about the people in my
life you know..
On Sunday, I sit next to waterfall on rose pedal leaves and meditate
in the midst of humming birds, deer and fuzzy bunny rabbits.. I don’t
go to church because everyone knows there isn’t really a God.. besides
its all about me anyway..
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